So for those of you who don’t know, Tilly is my cat. Let me
just say I am NOT a cat person by no means but last June I felt like I needed a
pet, I already tried a dog and a fish and neither of those suited me so I
figured why not try a cat. Tilly was truly given to me by God Himself to teach
me and show me His ways. Crazy that He would use a cat, but since the day I
brought her home God has used her ways/antics/etc. to teach me little lessons
so here’s what I’ve learned thus far from Tilly & God:
When I first got her, Tilly was a very scared cat and
fearful of everything and everyone when I brought her home she wedged herself
under my recliner and stayed there for hours until I pried her out, she took
off and ran into my small bathroom and that is where she lived for 3 weeks. She
found comfort in that small space closed off from the “big” half wide and she
felt safe there. I would go in throughout the day and spend time with her, not
touching her unless she allowed me to; I had to take time to build trust with
her so she could feel safe around me.
So just in that “bringing home Tilly” experience I was
already seeing a parallel in my own life. I’ve done and still do the same thing
with God. He took me out of an abandoned place where I was left as an orphan and
He took me with Him to be his companion and yet I was so fearful because of
what past experiences told me about the ‘big world’ I wouldn’t let Him near me,
it was my way or no way. Yet He was patient and He waited and took time. He
loved me anyways even when I ran from Him and hid myself in deep, dark places.
About a week after she had been in the bathroom I went in
for one of my visits and I sat down without making noise or any sudden movements
and just waited and she walked over, cautiously crawled into my lap, and sat
down. In that moment, I fell to pieces and I was so overwhelmed with the love
of God. I knew she trusted me now and she realized I was only there to care for
her and love her, not to harm her like everyone else in her past had.
Two weeks later Tilly ventured out of the bathroom and
nowadays she is ruling the roost. She goes in and out of every room as she
pleases and is completely comfortable with what was once a very scary, big,
wide open space. I’ve watch her become familiar with her surroundings and
become so affectionate with me, always wanting to be held and petted.
And I too in my spiritual life have been in places where I
would rather stay in a small space hiding behind walls I built myself not even
realizing how much comfort, love, and safety I could have in the ‘wide open
spaces’ of His heart. It only takes courageous trust to walk out of the small
spaces in life and embrace the unknown, trusting that I won’t be abandoned or
harmed this time.
All this background information leads up to today. Like I
said, Tilly is the queen she has her way and has become a lazy, loving cat in
this house but Daddy God showed me yet another lesson through her little feline
life. Since she’s with me Tilly has never been outdoors, so although she graduated
from kennel cage to bathroom to my entire house she’s never experienced what’s
outside the door. Her favorite place to sit is on my couch by the window and
she spends hours gazing and looking at that ‘big world’. Well today, I was
carrying bags outside and I left the door wide open because my hands were full,
not even thinking about Tilly trying to make an escape so I rushed back in to
close it and this is what I saw:
She was still sitting gazing out the window and not even a
foot from where she sat was a door leading to a world that she had only seen through
the window pane. And I stopped, took the picture, and then my heart began to
burst with truth and revelation about where I am right now in my own life.
I am Tilly. I sit at the window thinking I’ve come so far
and I’m not afraid anymore. I’ve found love, comfort, and security in this ‘big
house’ with a companion who is always with me and always loves me and cares for
me. And I dream about the ‘big world’ yet I know I could never go out there
because it wouldn’t be safe. Past experiences have told me I will get lost, I
won’t be taken care of , I’ll be abandoned, rejected, and homeless.
Yet Daddy
God, my companion, my caretaker, has swung the door wide open and is saying,
“Just go! Just step outside and feel the warmth of the sun on your skin and the
soft breeze blow on your face. It’s ok I’m with you always whether it’s here or there, inside or outside, near or far,
I will always go with you and I’ve gone before you. I know all about the ‘big world’. I’ve traveled it before and I made sure it was safe and I waited until you
were ready to experience it with Me and now is the time. It’s time to know,
discover, and enjoy true freedom. You’ve graduated from all alone to small
spaces behind walls you’ve built, to letting Me in and letting Me care for you,
and now it’s time we go outside what we’ve built together and start something
new, something unknown, something scary but completely worth it”.
He is saying to my heart:
"Stop gazing through hazy window panes imagining
what the breeze must feel like it and step outside and see for yourself, I have been, I am and I always, always will
be with you!"
Det. 31:6 - So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.
