Panic or Trust ?!?

I just finished an amazing book entitled “Like a Mighty Wind” by Mel Tari. From the beginning Mel talks about how the Bible was so unfamiliar to him and the people of Indonesia that when the missionaries came and said this is the Word of God read and believe everything that is written that’s exactly what they did. So Mel didn’t understand why people questioned the Bible and God’s calling so much. If He said it, it is so. That’s it. Mel discusses the simplicity of the Bible and how we are too smart for our own good. We overanalyze and reevaluate when truly all we must do is believe. “Christianity- we must believe to experience.”

 

So since I started the book I’ve challenged myself to take Daddy God at his word and put all worries and doubts aside. Now we all know that isn’t easy and doubt and anxiety have still been present but in those times, but remembering what He told me and reading about His promises seem to make that nagging sense of panic subside.

 

So here’s where all that plays into real life, right now, right here. As of today, I have 74 days left until I leave for Pemba, Mozambique and 39 days to raise 7,500.00 dollars to cover all my expenses. Talk about panic! But Daddy has been so gracious and patient and this book couldn’t have come at a better time. So I’m taking Him at his word because he says His children will not go begging for bread because he is the one who owns cattle on a thousand hills! I am his Beloved daughter and all he possesses is mine. I am his heiress! So with all that being said I can choose to sit and over think how I can get all this money in time, or I can simply trust that He will provide like He has promised me He would, and I do my part to make others aware so those He has handpicked to sow into this ministry will be blessed 100 fold what they give financially and in prayers. So here I am letting go of this dreadful money situation and choosing peace and trust in this process. I’m not backing out now and I’m not letting myself get overwhelmed. I will simply trust because that’s all he asks of me! How simple and refreshing! (Insert deep breaths here) Ahhh....

 

So in the last week I’ve contacted the travel agent to find out my ticket is 2,200.00…I hope they have recliners and flat screens on those planes! J So I stop, wait, and pray because I can’t pull 2,200 out of the pocket. And I am happy to say that today I notified the travel agent that I am ready to purchase that 2,200.00 ticket with a smile on my face knowing that He supplied every cent of it and He handpicked those precious and willing people to sow into my life! How blessed I am..it is so humbling!

 

So that leaves me here at the next hurdle raising the remaining $5,300.00 by August 25^th. But no I will not panic and I will not fret…one because it causes gray hair and wrinkles and two because Daddy said he would provide. I know I sound like a broken record but I’ve lived 26 years questioning God in every step and in many cases just shutting down completely and giving up. Not this time.. If I have to say it 1,000 more times for it to take root in my heart and surpass my mind, I will continue to say He will provide. He is my Jehovah Jireh.

 

I hope this sparks trust deep in your heart as well for those things you’ve been anxious over and it goes way beyond finances. I am praying for each of you that are reading this that Daddy God would invade your circumstances and speak so gently to remind you that He is in control and every promise He made in his word is true and is ours to take! You are his beloved, His favorite, and He will be sure you have what you need. So take a deep breath along with me because it’s going to be ok. We can do this. And by ‘this’, I mean trust Him and He will take care of the rest. Be blessed beloved. You deserve rest and peace; this life is not meant to burden us and each process no matter how short or long is meant to teach us more about His goodness. As Mel said, “Honey you’re too smart, stop thinking about whether it’s rational just believe what He said.”

 

Daddy God, I pray for your beloved child right now that he/she would experience an abundance of peace right now in this moment. No matter the circumstance or situation at hand, you promised us well being and a future full of hope and we believe it right now. I speak prosperity, blessing, favor, joy, peace and strength over your beloved. Thank you for your goodness and your promises for they will NOT return void. So we trust you…that’s it. We simply trust you Daddy because you are good! Amen!

The Lowdown

I am completely amazed at the support I’ve received since Mozambique Mission has been official!

I created the Mozambique Mission page as a way to share updates and stay in touch with friends and family because I know this adventure is bigger than just me. I know this experience will bless others and bring favor to everyone involved. I’m taking my supporters with me every step of the way!

What’s mind blowing is seeing people I’ve never met who ran across my page and liked it and since some may not know me personally and others who do know me but have no idea what I’m ranting and raving about I wanted to take a minute and give you the lowdown…so here it goes!

I applied to go to Iris Ministries Harvest School of Ministry on June 1^st. That was the first day applications opened for Harvest School 19, which starts October 3^rd and runs through December 11^th. I just found out a few days ago that I have been accepted so until then I’ve been waiting (fearfully) yet trusting that Daddy God would come through if I quit my job, etc. and He did!

Faithful God-1             Scaredy cat Ashley- 0

So I will be flying out around September 29^th and will be coming home December 12^th. This 3 ½ month span will be a training time for me. I will be under the instruction and leadership of Heidi and Rolland Baker who founded Iris Ministries and I will also be learning from other missionaries associated with the organization. I will living on the orphanage and sharing a house/dorm with 13 to 14 other ministry “students”. People ask all the time if I know anybody that’s going and as of now …no …so here’s to making new friends! J

 

I will be going to class during the day and in afternoons I’ll be able to play and enjoy time with the children who live at the orphanage in Pemba, Mozambique. On the weekends, there will be fun excursions/sightseeing and there were will outreaches where I will have the opportunity to tap into God’s power and see the lame walk and the blind see. The possibilities are endless!

 Once my training is complete and I graduate, I will then be qualified to apply as a short or long-term missionary through Iris Ministries. My ultimate goal is to come home and reboot, spread the news of what I experienced and go back out to the nations and continue to spread His love.

 I’m finally putting the walk with my talk. It’s been 10 years since I made the statement, “I’m going to be missionary” and God confirmed that word many times but my hard-headed Floyd brain had other plans so for 10 years I’ve settled here, wrestled there, escaped, given up, started over and finally enough was enough. This is my chance to go and do it, for real, and see what happens. I’m open to what Daddy would have me to do, I’m willing, and ready, he hasn’t let me down yet. So that’s the gist of this beautiful disaster called life. The disaster is losing my life and the beauty is I’ll learn how to live through this and gain even more!

 With all that being said, since it is a school there is a tuition fee and it is located in Pemba, Mozambique so my little Scion won’t get me there. J This is where you come in, if the Lord leads you to give financially towards the call He has placed on my life in any way, every donation and prayer is greatly appreciated! I know it is my duty to make people aware and give them the opportunity to sow into this mission field because I want the blessings He pours out on me to spread like wildfire to you and your family. I refuse to let this journey start and stop with me; you are just as much a part!

 

My estimated total for this trip is around $7,500. I will have to celebrate Daddy God and say he has already begun sending people who are so willingly giving financially and the prayers and words of encouragement are more than I could ever imagine, so I know he will come through. Back in March 2011, I wrote a song entitled Jehovah Jireh and I still sing it over my situation reminding my soul that He truly has promised that I would not go begging for bread because He owns cattle on a thousand hills. He said every need would be met so I was willing to say yes to the call He will provide what I need to get there. And the journey doesn’t stop in December, actually it will have just begun, so not only am I looking for one-time donations I am also in need of monthly supporters.

If you want to be a part of this with me, you can contact me on Facebook (Ashley Floyd or Mozambique Mission). You can also mail any donations to 2411 Osborne Road Lake City, SC 29560. Keep checking my blog at www.ashleycfloyd.blogspot.com for updates on the trip and read my random revelations of life.

Thank you for supporting me; every ‘like’ on my page is another push into this next chapter of my life. I want us to join with one another in spreading His love to the nations and I know Daddy’s face will shine upon you and bring you abundant blessing and favor because you are His beloved. Don’t underestimate where He has you planted you!Go and impact your world….it’s bigger than you think! Be blessed beloveds!

Jehovah Jireh   

 

 

Lost in Love

I feel lost. I feel disconnected. I feel useless. I feel unproductive.

I have ‘worked’ so hard to be someone God is proud of. I did my best in college and graduated with honors. I went on to teach and gave it all I had to ensure my babies had a good education and felt loved. I gave my all in my worship so that He would be pleased, but what I’m realizing is God could care less  about my efforts He simply wants my attention.

He doesn’t care about what I do, He cares about who I am. So the disconnect comes in my fleshly idea of what love is and His heart felt truth about real, pure and holy love. Love that goes beyond performance or actions and instead is a way of living as real as breathing and just as necessary.

I forgot He doesn’t think the same way I do. So now that all my ‘works’ are being stripped from me it’s hard for me to believe that He is not only pleased with me but willing to use me.

 So I sit here and contemplate this newfound truth that my works are nothing. And I say newfound because yes I’ve heard it thousands of times but my heart and mind have battled with it and it’s now that I realize how much I leaned on my efforts, talents, and abilities to define me. And now that I am not ‘doing’ anything I have to question whether my identity has been affected negatively. Or is that I haven’t truly gotten to know my Daddy God nor do I know who He thinks I am and therefore I’ve lived in my works instead of  truly knowing who I am.

 Good news though…I can start now. It’s time to find Ashley. It’s time to see who I am aside from teaching, singing, being a daughter, sister, friend…what do I look like, who am I and how does He see me. That’s my current quest. I’m beginning yet another journey into His depth. I want to know more about God and His personality not just what others say He is. I want to know Him one on one and in that I will find myself.  I am not lost. I am wandering into his heart discovering myself.

It is exciting but the battle continues as He so gently reminds me that works don’t make Him happy I do.

Finding myself and being happy with it makes Him happy. If I never sing another song or play another key or if I never step into a classroom again I am loved and He is pleased with me.

That’s hard truth for my performance-minded self to accept but I take that challenge to find out what unconditional love consists of, but this conditional, based-on-works, ‘I’ll do if you do’ love hasn’t fulfilled me it’s left me feeling lost.

So no longer am I lost in works, I’m lost in my discovery of love.